I told my neighbor  that I had climbed our roof to inspect for  damage. I discovered that  the leaves where blocking the rainwater from draining into the pipes. This was causing the water to leak in the house.

The first thing my neighbor said, “next time I will  climb the roof  and inspect it. This way we can divide the inspecting load equally among each other”. His statement did two things to me. First of all it made me conscious of Him and I and secondly  it created a disappointment of short sidedness in me. This part of the Dutch-mentality I always had difficulty coping with.

What he communicated to me where two things. First of all he assumed that his inspecting the roof and sharing the burden will also be seen fair  to me. His assuming  shows a certain arrogance in his (Dutch) behavior.  Secondly  what he communicated was  his conditional pattern thinking. You do this then I will do that, one time you clean next time I will clean, one time you help me next time I will help you, one time you pay next time I will pay. This behavior has become so much part of the  Dutch-mentality  that these principles are being  applied to the most intimate  relationships. You love me then I will love you,  you give me this much I will give you so much. Nothing seems to be unconditional in the Dutch-mentality. Everything is weighed and calculated towards a perfect harmonious  balance.

A average non Dutch-mentality person has difficulty in coping with this attitude. I see many  non-Dutch’s, specially who are born here  adopting this attitude which is in my opinion an degradation in  values. Also I must express that I feel this attitude is responsible for  major development of the Dutch society. it is a very effective working mechanism. It has provided the Dutch-mentality with lot of benefits, I wonder at what cost… ……………….??

For past 25 years I have lived with the Dutch people and tried to understand them. I think that I understand the Dutch-mentality better than the Dutch person understands himself. Because a healthy person will not try to figure out what is health. A happy person will not try to define what is happiness. A fish in the ocean will not search for water. The person who is in need will investigate.

My love for Dutch-mentality makes me say things about the Dutch culture. A Dutch person cannot appreciate the Dutch-mentality as much I can. A Dutch person cannot condemn  other cultures as much I can. It is my love-hate relationship with this Dutch-mentality which provokes me to speak.

My neighbor