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Few years ago a girl asked me for direction to her office. I told her that I was going the same way and she could walk with me if she liked. During our walk we had really nice time and good laugh in those 15 minutes. Like always in life, she had to go left and I had to go right. I asked her if she liked to meet again for cop of coffee or little more! She said, “no I better not”. I said, “why not, it will be a blast”. She said, “no I can’t it does not seem right”, I said, “to me this seems right, just give me your number then I will call you”, she said again, “No”. I said, “come on”. Then she said, “what part of no you don’t understand”. Then I realized maybe I was pushing too much and that a no was a no.

One year later, I was walking on the same road and she came running after me and said to me, “do you remember me?”. I said, “the girl who did not wanted to go out with me”. She said, “it is your own fault”. “How come?”, I asked. She replied, “you gave up to soon, No is not always a no. I really liked you and wanted to go out with you, if you just had asked me maybe one more time”

I never understood this then, but now I do, “A No is not always a No”.

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things only make sence when I don’t think about them.

The first exposure, to which we are exposed in our youth, haunts or leads us for the rest of our life, which determines for great deal our personality and faith.

It will take you a life time to reverse the impact of the first exposure, unfortunately there is no freedom in our choice of choosing it.

Once the disciples of Bud asked him, “how can we change our self and our habits’?” To which Bud replied in his own manner and took a rope and made a knot in it. He then said to his disciples, “if this knot represents a habit what must one do to unwind a certain habit? The only way is to reverse the movement in which the knot was winded, there are no quick fixes”, he replied.

The greatest influence!

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When I was 22, I met a beautiful girl. We had a nice conversation. She asked me my age, I told her that I was 22. She said, “no you can’t be 22, tell me the truth how old are you?” I said, “really I am 22”. But she did not believe me. This went up and forth for a while till it reached an uncomfortable moment of silence.

I took a minute for myself, evaluated the situation and reorganized my strategy. I asked her about her age, she was 28. I looked in her eyes, thought for a minute and said to her, “I was just kidding I am also 28 year old”. This made her happy and that made me happy and we had very happy time after that.

I learned a valuable lesson then. “Give people what they want, not what they need.”

The higher strategy!

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After 18 years I came an old friend across. He had grown now to a handsome young man with a very successful business and a beautiful wife. He used to be bullied very harshly on the high school. There was group of guys who used to pick on him for no reason. That was my first lesson in the art of war “There will be those who will hate you for no reason”.

They used to hit him, spit on him, eat up his food, one time they threw him in a deep channel, his clothes, his books everything was wet, he almost drowned in the water. It took me ages to get him out of water. I remember he cried for hours there, there was mixture of fear and anger in his eyes, blood rushed through his veins. I never forgave myself for my cowardliness, I never helped him at the time of his real need. Here I learned the second art of war (“Sometime you must kill to survive”).

As we stood there after 18 years, he looked at me and a tear dropped from his eyes. He said to me, “do you remember those days”? There was a pose of silence. I asked him, “what would you do if somebody like them came again in your life”. He replied, “I will cut there throat, drink there blood, boil their skin and feed it to the dogs”. There was a scary seriousness in his eyes and a determination to do so, if ever! Before leaving he hugged me and thanked me for those days.

That day I learned another valuable lesson in the art of war “little help is better than none”.

The innocent mind!

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Is there much at stake in life? What can life take from me? I can lose my job, I can lose all the money I have, I can lose my home, I can lose my happiness, I can lose my beauty and youth, I can lose my family and friends, I can lose my self-respect and dignity, I can lose my joy and lust, I can lose my intelligence, I can lose everything and everybody I love, I can lose my health, I can lose my comfort and my security, I can lose my dreams, I can lose my hope, I can lose my fate, I can lose my freedom, I can lose my life.

Is that all what life can take from me?

Challenge to life

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I: I challenge you my fear, behold thy fate for I shall not tolerate you any other minute, I will crush and destroy you!

Fear: Why you fight against me, why do you despise and hate me so much, why do you not except me? For I am a greater part of you, much deeper is the connection among us then your superficial relation with you’re so called courage. Why do thy not accept thy fate? Have I not been good to you? For I have been with you from the very first day you still where in your mother’s womb! What must I do to make you accept me? You will die in this pursuit of yours.

I: You are cunning fear, you have taken too much from me, I have paid a far greater price for you company in my life. I accept you no more I want you no more I will tolerate you no more. I wish to live my later days without you, I wish to experience life before I die. I hereby end this long marriage from which I have outgrown now. I am in love with my courage, which was shadowed by your present for all these years. Leave thy me, leave.

I: I accepted you as my fate. I thought life was just that and no more. But now I have experienced heights beyond heights so I must rebel against all the darkness in my life and you belong to that darkness.

Fear: You know you cannot get rid of me I am in your blood and veins.

I: I may or may not but I as long as there is a single living cell in my body I will try.

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At very young age there is a disbelieve by our parents in our qualities. As we grow there is disbelieve in us by our teachers and the preachers. Later on the very people we love, will not like to see us succeed.

Your whole life you are doubted, and denied the confidence. Remember there is no one in this life who will enjoy your success more then you. Majority would like to see you fail, the others do not care but there are few, very very few who will cherish your success as much as you will.

There are enough people in this world who doubt you. At least allow yourself to believe in yourself! Say to yourself:, “I will persist so I will succeed, no one will shatter my dream. I may be on a slow path and difficult road but I will achieve.”

Having an inner knowledge!

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This is a matter of the hearth not of any certain value. Like words assembled in poetry, they shatter one reader while leaving unaffected the other.

Like the sun rise, like a breeze of warm wind, like a gaze of child, like a call of duty, like a moment before victory, like a virgin before penetration, like a word between the writing and the thought.

Just an ordinary matter without any  effect or cause  !